He Restores My Soul

The phone conversation I had with my Burkina teammate was important, just not necessarily easy. It was filled with words like "terrorism", "safety", and "emergency precautions". We talked together about out safety as team, what the recent events means for us living in Burkina, and how we can be best prepared. We decided that we will be attending a special training for missionaries who live in dangerous places. I've never considered myself to be one of those, but I guess that changed about a week ago. 

At the end of the conversation, I had a to-do list that included: 

• Get security training - Attend special missionary training on safety and emergency procedures 
• Write a will
• Talk with team about security protocols 
• Harden our security  
• Evaluate activities 
• Evacuation plan; funds  
• Appoint a power of attorney 

Not exactly every twenty-four year old's average checklist. Then Geoffrey added one more piece of advice, one more item on the to-do list.

• Get away to get some rest and be with the Lord  

I knew in that moment that's what I needed most of all. So when I heard Thursday night about some friends going on a kayaking trip the next day for the weekend, I knew that God had provided just what I needed. 

Only this was probably not your normal kayaking trip. I knew I was in for an adventure when I woke up Friday morning to 6 inches of snow. "Perfect weather for a float trip," said no one ever...except this crew! The place we normally get kayaks wouldn't even rent them out to us because they said it was "too dangerous", so we had to make a slight detour to borrow some boats from a buddy. As we drove out of town, we saw five cars in ditches or crunched up against barriers and road signs, but by golly, we were determined to drive through the mountains anyway. I think a state trooper almost pulled us over just to ask why we had a kayak strapped to the roof of the car in the middle of a winter apocalypse. 

Yes, it was the start of a great adventure. And it was exactly what I needed to just get away for a while and be with the Lord and his people. 

Over the course of the weekend, I kept thinking about Psalm 23, especially the part about "he leads me besides still waters. He restores my soul." 

The Lord restores my soul in the most creative ways sometimes. The waters of the Buffalo River are so crystal clear that you can see the smooth rocks on the bottom that are a hundred different shades of brown and gray, but if you shift your focus just right, you can also see the perfect reflection of the sky, clouds, and trees that lines the shoreline. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. 

A bald eagle perched quietly on a tree, watching me as I tried to paddle noiselessly so to get as close as possible before he stretched out his wings and glided effortlessly and silently to the next branch a few hundred yards down river. He restores my soul. 

The rhythm of a paddle in the water. The sound of a shoal just ahead. A blazing campfire on a freezing night and the orange glow of faces smiling around it. The moon so bright that you don't even need a headlamp. Waking up with frost on my sleeping bag, frozen to the inside of my hammock, yet miraculously warm in the inside of a down sleeping bag. A cup of hot chocolate shared with friends. Trail mix passed between kayaks. Hymns around a campfire. He restores my soul. 

The team of eight people that I was with this weekend restored my soul. They made me laugh until my sides hurt. They shared stories and jokes that brought lightheartedness to a heavy season of my life. We shared old memories and made new ones. We goofed off and were spontaneous, yet also had meaningful and planned moments. Often the two blended right together naturally as if deep conversation and lighthearted joy were meant to be best friends. They brought the adventure out of me. They reminded me of the body of Christ, of the church, and of believers who live life in community together. 

I viewed the trip as an escape from the messiness and difficulty of life recently, but at times I found it hard to escape. I knew the peace of God in the mountains, but that still didn't change the craziness of the world waiting for me back home. That's when I realized that God didn't want my trip to be an "escape". He doesn't want us to escape from our problems, but to embrace him in the midst of them. That's when I realized that what I struggled with at home and what I discovered on the river go hand in hand. In other words, I had separated the calm of the outdoors from the troubles of my regular life. But God wanted to bring them back together again. 

Being in the outdoors stilled my unsteady heart by the quietness and simple beauty of his creation. 

"I can also calm your heart and bring the same peace to your soul in the life I have given you," he seemed to say. 

Being in the outdoors helped me see how good of a creator our God is and how everything that he makes is good and beautiful. 

"I am creating beautiful things in you through the life I have given you," he seemed to say. 

Being in the outdoors reminded me that God is sovereign and in control. 

"I am just as in control here in nature as in the life I have given you," he seemed to say. 

Being in the outdoors also showed me how worthy he is of my worship, my life, and all I have to give. 

"I am the same God - the God of the wilderness AND the God of the wildness of the life I have given you," he seemed to say.

So it ended up not being an escape after all, but rather an embracing of the God who is the same in the quietness of nature and the bustle of normal life. 

For all of our crew, the weekend was one to remember because of the spontaneity, adventure, and ridiculousness of it all. Who else goes kayaking in the dead of winter after a snow storm? Our trip was cut a few miles short when one canoe capsized, got stuck in some trees, and literally bent in half from the strength of the current. Our swimmers survived but the boat did not. We got our swimmers warm and dry by everyone pitching in (one guy ended up wearing an article of clothing from every person on the trip), hiked all the wet gear up to a road, built a fire, and made some friends with two local fishermen who let us warm up in their car, gave us some food, and offered us pot. When we declined, he said, "Yeah, I thought you might be the Christian type." 

We laughed and then I inquired, "How can you tell?" 

"You're wet and it's freezing cold. You just sunk a canoe. Most people would be fussing at this point (although he used some different words), but you guys are all still laughing and smiling." 

I nodded my head because I liked his answer. 

You see, even in the calmness of the wilderness and the craziness of life, our God is still the same. He is still creating beauty, he is still in control, he is still worthy. We don't need to escape the difficulties that life brings, we need to embrace Christ in the middle of them. He leads us beside still waters. He restores our souls.