Just Jump
After a year of separation since graduation, our reunion was one crazy awesome weekend. Just like our college days, we spent every single moment together. We shared a bathroom, went grocery shopping together, cooked meals together, made late night ice cream runs, and stayed up late watching Seven Brides for Seven Brothers and catching up on all the news in our post-grad, working, and married lives. We were never short on laughter, familiar jokes, and the re-telling of memories and stories. Plus, we made a few new ones of our own.
On Saturday, we loaded up the minivan and set out on an adventure to Rock Island. A cross between Heber springs cliff-jumping and Niagra falls, this little park in the middle of nowhere felt like stepping into a tropical jungle. A wide river cascaded down the valley, spilling over cliffs and forming multiple waterfalls as it made its way down. Waterfalls from every direction tumbled into cool, clear pools of fresh water.
And the best part was that you could climb up the waterfalls and then jump off!
As I stood on the edge of the cliff, I leaned timidly over the ledge and examined the water below, trying to judge the distance of the leap and the free fall. I jumped up and down nervously, trying to shake loose all of the nervous energy, and then my heart started to beat wildly in my chest. Whether it was because of sheer excitement or my body's way of saying "don't do it", I am not sure. Either way, the adrenaline was pumping high.
And then from the mouth of an innocent bystander, I heard all I needed to hear.
"Don't think about it. Just jump!"
And with that, I pushed all logic aside and took a running leap.
When I hit the water and came up for a huge breath of air, I gave a "woo hoo!" and two thumbs up. And I knew in that moment that it was totally worth it.
I am coming to understand more and more what people mean when they talk about "taking a leap of faith". Just the other day, I was thanking God for the life he has given me - a job that I love during the night time and days full of other activities that I love: biking, playing music, hanging out at PATH and Hidden Creek, and hanging my hammock at the park. I love going to my church, having dinner with my family, and going to coffee with friends. I love going to showers and weddings and watching how all my friends are making big life decisions - buying houses, getting married, having kids. I love living with my best friend and roommate and spending time with her, even though sometimes it is just watching cheesy netflix movies.
As I was thanking God for all these things, he asked me if I would be willing to give it all away.
Moving to Africa is like standing on the edge of the cliff with my heart pounding. Part of me is excited and adventurous, and part of me screams, "whatever you do, don't jump!" There could be rocks below and it could hurt if you hit the water wrong. People have died doing things like this. But then I remember that people have gone before me, and I hear the words of someone behind me saying, "don't think about it, just jump!" And I wonder if those could be the words of Jesus because I imagine he said something very similar to Peter when he invited him out onto the water in the middle of a raging storm.
Yes, going to Burkina Faso will mean giving up some of the things that I love. I might miss long bike rides on cool afternoons, but I will get to ride my new bicycle around town. I might miss coffee with my friends, but they still have coffee in Burkina, and it know I will make some new friends to share it with. I will miss out on some weddings and family vacations, but I can't wait for the day that I get to go to a Burkinabe wedding or take a vacation to the waterfalls in Banfora. I will get to worship with a new church, volunteer and serve in a new capacity, and work in a new setting in a different kind of nursing job. I will miss family dinners, but that will make homecoming dinners so much sweeter.
So as I stand on the ledge with my toes curved over the corner, I feel my heart beating out of my chest. A leap of faith awaits, one that both terrifies and exhilarates me to the point that sometimes I can't tell the difference between the two. I look at the water below and the distance of the fall, and I proclaim that I am willing to give away this life that I love so much in order to gain something every greater - the joy of walking in obedience to the Father, the peace of jumping hand in hand with the Spirit, and the hope of life to the full that is only found in adventures with Jesus.
Yes, it is a dangerous leap, but it is going to be totally worth it.
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