Hungry and Thirsty

I knew something wasn't quite right when I got out of bed that morning. I usually spring out of bed with enthusiasm and strength, but I just felt a little weak on this particular morning. Sure enough, half way to the bathroom, my vision started to go dark and I grabbed onto the wall, sensing that I was about to pass out. The next thing I knew, I couldn't see at all, but I could hear some loud banging noises as my head hit the wall on my way down. It wasn't until I woke up on the ground that I realized what had happened. Then I remembered that it had been quite a while since I had anything to eat. That was it: I was weak and needed to eat. So I stopped everything else I was doing and immediately went to the kitchen to eat something, and that made all the difference in the world. 

Psalm 63:1 says this:

1 O God, you are my God, I seek you,
    my soul thirsts for you;
my flesh faints for you,
    as in a dry and weary land where there is no water.

"My flesh faints for you," he writes. Oh, that my flesh would faint after Christ such as my body faints when I do not eat. I want my soul to be weak with hunger for Christ so much that I cannot take one more step without him...that my spirit would collapse without him...that I wouldn't even be able to get out of bed without him. Oh, that I would crave Jesus so much that I literally stop everything else I am doing just to eat - to feast on his presence and his Word, the Scriptures, every day...even three times a day and more! 

"My soul thirsts for you," he also writes. 

I remember a camping trip not too long ago when I was leading a group of girls on a grand backpacking adventure in the middle of nowhere, Arkansas. We had diligently filled up our water bottles when we had the chance, but we had been hiking for so long that we had all run out of water. Like no one had a single drop left, and we were all getting pretty thirsty. I knew that we were very close to our camp site for the night, which I purposefully planned to be by a stream, so I encouraged everyone to keep trekking because we were almost there. 

When we came to the creek bed, it was bone dry.

Suddenly, my heart began to beat 150 beats per minute and my mouth went terribly sticky and dry. I realized in that moment that there are two kinds of thirst. There's a thirst that you can hold onto because you know there's a water fountain nearby or a soda machine at the next gas station...and then there's a different kind of thirst that hits you when you realize there is no water in sight. I began to panic. The sun was already setting, so there was no turning around. Our cars were parked at the trailhead, which was 2.5 miles away on an entirely rigorous uphill climb. One that you would never attempt without water. Plus I felt the enormous burden of responsibility for the thirst of these girls that I dragged down here in the first place. The best camping trip ever was about to become the worst camping trip ever as I pictured my overly-exhausted and dehydrated friends freaking out in the middle of this wilderness. 

I set my pack down and ran. I was going to run upstream until I found water. And I prayed with every step that I would.

And then there it was: a six-inch deep, four-foot wide, stagnant leaf-covered pool. A glorified puddle, really. But to me, it was the fountain of life. We boiled that water, set up camp, and drank to our hearts content as we sat around the campfire, gazed at the stars, and talked about how crazy adventurous we were. 

I bet that is the kind of thirst the psalm-writer was talking about. It's that kind of thirsting that makes your mouth stick together and your heart beat way too fast. It's that kind of thirst that you cannot get off your mind - no matter how hard you try - until you get something to drink. It's a thirst that makes you remember how essential water is for life itself, and the thought of going without it scares you to death. 

I want to thirst for Christ like that. He is the Living Water, so how can we go for days without consuming his words and soaking in his presence? When did we become okay with letting our tongues stick to the roofs of our mouths? When did we stop running after that water with all our hearts? And how can we possibly let ourselves get so thirsty when we are responsible for presenting the Living Water to the people around us? 

This has become my prayer: Father, give us a hunger and thirst for you and your Word. We don't want to go a day without spending intentional time with you in your Word. Please let us faint and fall flat on our faces if we don't...until we realize how much we need you to satisfy our hungry, thirsty souls. Create in us that kind of crazy craving for you, Jesus. 

After all, we don't go a day without food and water. The discomfort of hunger and thirst is too great to bear. Even if we get busy and skip one meal, we pig out at the next one. The excuse of not having enough time to spend with Jesus simply does not make sense. We always, always have time to eat. Lord, give us that kind of discomfort when we don't eat of your presence and your Word on a daily basis. Let us not become so comfortable in starving ourselves. Maybe we have a spiritual eating disorder after all. 

On that morning when I woke up and passed out after only a few steps into my day, I had actually been fasting for several days previously. In that moment of physical weakness, I knew it was time to break the fast. 

We have been fasting from the Word of God for far too long. It is time to break the fast. 

It is time to set our packs down and run. Run and don't stop until you find water, praying every step of the way. And you will find it - not a scum-covered pond, but an endless spring-fed fountain of the freshest, cleanest, purest, coldest, life-giving water that never ever ever runs dry. 

55 The Lord says, “All you who are thirsty,
    come and drink.
Those of you who do not have money,
    come, buy and eat!
Come buy wine and milk
    without money and without cost.
2 Why spend your money on something that is not real food?
    Why work for something that doesn’t really satisfy you?
Listen closely to me, and you will eat what is good;
    your soul will enjoy the rich food that satisfies.
3 Come to me and listen;
    listen to me so you may live.
(Isaiah 55)