Envision

During the week that I spent in Kimini, I realized something about myself: I love to do things. I am a doer.  

Maybe this is why I never take naps. Or why I can’t stand to watch when I could be helping. Maybe this is why I love it when my schedule is jam-packed and I am running a million miles an hour. It is why I love to get my hands dirty, to try to new things, and to embark on adventure.  

Sometimes being a doer is a strength. God calls us to put our faith into action, and I have always loved reading those passages in the Bible that encourage me to dream about some new adventure with God and me.  

But sometimes being a doer is a weakness, too. I am not very good at being still, which God also commands. I am not very good at resting. I struggle with Sabbath.  

While in Kimini, both sides - the strength and weakness – of this character trait evidenced themselves. Because of my compelling desire to get up and do stuff, our little team led three Bible classes for the school kids plus a teaching session for the village women on hydration and nutrition. Because of my urge to action, I spent hours in the cow field with kids playing Frisbee and soccer. And in all of these things, the love of Jesus was shown and the gospel was shared.  

At the same time, my desire to be constantly active created a restlessness within me. We spent the vast majority of the trip sitting outside our house, listening to people talk in a language we could not understand, eating three meals a day, and napping in between. To me, it was a whole lot of nothing. At least that’s what I thought. 

In one of my moments of desperate restlessness almost to the point of tears, I was talking with the Lord. What am I supposed to be doing here? Here we are in a remote village among a people that are not Christians, and I just want to do something about it so bad! But I don’t know what to do! Give me a house to build or a sick child to treat or something…anything! I felt like this was the experience and opportunity of a lifetime. I wanted to make the most of those five days, but I kind of felt like I was wasting time.  

Is this restlessness of you, God? Or do I just need to relax and be content with just being here and doing nothing? 

And the Lord gently reminded me through His Word and through my teammates and through the stars that shine in the night sky… 

I want you to see.  

I had been so focused on getting in there and doing things that I had forgotten to take the time to see something more.  

I began to see a people group created by God and dearly loved by Him. I began to see a culture that expressed His creativity and heart. I began to see the beauty of God Himself in the heavy mango trees, the crescent moon, and the bright white eyes of dark-skinned babies.  

I also found myself seeing into the future, meaning that I began to envision and dream about what the kingdom of God would look like in a place such as Kimini. I dreamt what it would be like to live there, to make friends, and to learn the language. I envisioned inviting people over for afternoon tea and starting small talk until we got into deeper conversation about life. I imagined sharing the gospel with a friend for the first time and then studying the Bible in my home with a few people who were interested in hearing more about this Jesus. And how amazing it would be to see the start of a church! I even pictured the new excited Christian Jula people going home to their families and friends to share how Jesus had changed their lives. There would be persecution and hardship, but there would also be strength and renewal in Christ and His Word. Many years down the road, the whole village could know Christ, and the Mosque would shut down because no one would be interested in that anymore. We would spend our days worshipping the Lord and traveling to nearby villages to plant more churches.

 

A big dream, I know. An idealistic and unlikely outcome, well…possibly. A desire of God’s heart that is totally within His power, most definitely.

 

In Kimini, I did not do very much at all. But I learned to see. I saw God’s marvelous beauty and extraordinary love in ways that took my breath away. I saw that God doesn’t love me because of what I do but because of who He is. I saw what the kingdom of heaven might look like among the Jula people of Kimini.

I also saw what mission work looks like from the very beginning. Until now, all the missions with which I have worked have been well-established and organized. This was totally different. This was missions in the ground-breaking stage. We did not go in and tell everyone about Jesus and baptize hundreds, but we simply lived a little while among the people in order to see them as God does and envision the impact of Christ in their culture and our potential role in paving the way.  

I still have a restlessness about the people of Kimini because they do not yet know Christ, and this restlessness compels me to do something about it. Maybe one day, I will return. For now, I will pray. I have come to believe that this restlessness is of God, for He is prompting me to love a people that He loves and to do something about it.  

At the same time, God is calming my restlessness and inviting me to be still and see something more. He is encouraging me to stop wringing my hands and start opening my eyes. He is giving me a dream and vision for the kingdom.  

I am and probably will forever be a person who does, but I am becoming one who sees as well.