Elephant in a Shoebox

When I had only two weeks left in Burkina until leaving for my two month furlough in the United States, I asked God to help me spend my last few days well. I imagined it like the end of a race when the runner gives all he's got so that he crosses the finish line with nothing left. I wanted to cross this finish line of my second year in Burkina having given all my heart, soul, energy, time, money, and resources. I wanted to leave feeling like I had poured out all of me, like I had spent all that I had left to give. Well, he took that prayer seriously. 

I've been wrapping everything up as best I can before I leave. I've finished medical cases, implemented organization changes in the infants in distress program so that I can pass the baton and leave the work in capable hands, accomplished end of the year children's ministry goals, and left what is needed for what I can't finish. Long days, long hours, many tasks, many activities, tired feet, happy heart. 

As I sit here in my sad-looking house with all the furniture covered up, the refrigerator emptied, and bags all packed by the door for my departure tomorrow morning, I know without a doubt that God has answered my prayer to finish this race strong. He has allowed me to leave with a peace in my heart knowing that this year has been well-spent and that everything is in place as I leave; nothing has been left undone. I depart with the assurance that although I may be leaving for a time, God is not. He is still here; carrying on the work that he began. That's all I need to know. 

So like a runner crossing the finish line with arms stretched wide, I board a plane tomorrow to close the chapter on my second term in Africa and open a new one as I spend two and half months with my family, friends, and churches in America - resting, refueling, reporting, and raising support for next year. 

Speaking of chapters...maybe it's because I'm a writer, but I feel like every chapter of my life needs to have a good conclusion paragraph. A summary. A take-away point. I want to wrap up this entire year in a nice little paragraph that summarizes the main point, makes the whole year make sense, explains why it all matters, and ends in an exclamation point.  

That's why I have been reflecting on this year and all its events, accomplishments, struggles, lessons learned, and spiritual themes. So I come to the summary paragraph and I ask, What has this year been all about? 

You can look back on this blog yourself and see that this year has been about reaching out to the suffering and broken, offering hope through medical interventions, starting a children's ministry in the village churches, and working as a team to advance the kingdom of Christ for the glory of God. But even all that can be summed up in this: 

This year has been all about relationships. 

First, my relationship with Christ. The joys have deepened my thankfulness; the struggles have deepened my dependence. Both have deepened my worship.

Second, my relationship with the people he has made. At the beginning of this year, I prayed for three things: my language, my relationships, and my ministry. All three are very much related because both language and ministry are all about relationships. The common denominator is relationship. And the kingdom of heaven is in relationships, not in projects or work or activity or accomplishments. Therefore, missions is all about relationships - relationship with God, relationships with people, and restoring the relationship between those two. 

As I reflect on those three things I prayed for, I see how God has answered each one. He has strengthened my language capacity and thus my relationships and thus my ministry. The relationships I have formed and deepened this year with my team, my friends, children and teenagers, church pastors, patients, and just everyday people that I encounter...that's what this year has been all about. 

But there is something else, too. As I try to write a summary reflection on this past year of my life, I find that trying to explain all that God has done is like trying to fit an elephant in a shoebox, or like trying to paint the sunset or even just capture it's beauty in a photo. You just can't do it justice. Nothing is like experiencing the real thing.

That's why I come to the end of this conclusion paragraph, and all I can say is that my heart is so full of gratitude that this blog can't contain it. I'm not sure my heart can contain it. So that's what this year is really about, and I venture to say that's what our whole lives are about - thankfulness and worship. 

Worship for who he is. 

Thankfulness for all he has done. 

I feel like a runner crossing the finish line. I also feel like a soldier coming home from war, for that's what this year has been - a war on behalf of the poor, the widows and the orphans, the hearts of children, the outcast and forgotten, those who have lost hope, and the spiritual kingdom of God. It's also been a spiritual war in my own heart with attack after attack on my physical, spiritual, emotional, and relational being. I've fought with all my heart and soul, and the Lord has gone before and behind me to faithfully give me strength each day. And I see all that he has accomplished, and I praise his holy name.

I write this final paragraph, and I believe it ties this chapter together and brings out the true meaning. It summarizes this past year and makes a wonderful conclusion. It even ends in a great big exclamation mark.

I praise you, O Lord, my strength; I worship you for the wonderful God and Fatherthat you are, and I thank you with all my heart for everything you've done for me and these people that you have given me to love and serve. My heart overflows. You are worthy of all glory and praise!