Homesick

A gentle tap awakened me, and I turned over when I heard my name whispered, almost whimpered, in the sleepy darkness of cabin 1. "Ashli, I can't sleep. I want to go home." I swung my legs onto the wooden floor and held her hand in mine. "Come on, let's go back to your bed and I will sit with you a while. Do you like your back scratched?"
She snuggled back into her own bed as I gently tickled her back. She sobbed, "I just want to go home so bad. I am so homesick. I don't even want to be here anymore."

"Oh, but think about how much fun we have had so far. Do you remember going off the ropeswing today? That was your first time, wasn't it? And you were so brave! Did you know I was watching you the whole time? I am so proud of you."

Her sobs quieted as I continued whispering slowly in her ear and stroking her hair. "And we've played capture the flag and hiked down Indian Slides and had a hayride where we cooked smores and ate watermelon. We have had so much fun, and the best is yet to come. Tomorrow we have the Sadie Hawkins and then of course the shaving cream fight and the banquet the next day. Plus, all the other girls in our cabin love you, and we need you here with us for our cabin to be complete."

She rolled over one last time, found a comfortable position, and rested quietly. "I know that God brought you to camp for a reason. He wants you to learn and grow and have a blast here at camp. This is your time to trust Him, pray to Him, and let Him see you through." I sang her a little song that we learned at camp:

I've got confidence
my Lord is gonna see me through.
No matter what the case may be,
I know my Lord is gonna fix it for me.

With that, I said a quick prayer and tried to get off her bed without making too much noise. Not aloud but in my heart, I said, And you will see your family soon. Your mom and dad are coming back for you in just a little while. So I tip-toed back to my own bed in peaceful silence.

That wasn't the first time my sleep had been interrupted by homesick campers, and it wouldn't be the last. Being the counselor of one of the youngest girls' cabins, I got plently of practice in handling homesickness both day and night. It wasn't until about half way through the first session, though, that I began to realize that I had a case of homesickness myself.

Being at camp wasn't exactly the easiest thing I have ever done. Campers aren't the only ones that learn and grow - I did a lot of growing myself through the experiences I had. Through certain events, I found myself being humbled. I saw my weaknesses out in the open. I learned many lessons, but I admit that I had to learn them the hard way.

In light of all this, I had just returned from Africa where I delivered breathless babies, held hands as people died, and met some of the dirtiest and sickest people I had ever seen.

One night, as I cried in my bed, I prayed a homesick prayer. "Lord, I am so tired of sickness, suffering, and death. Why does there have to be such poverty and wickedness in this world? And why do I have to feel such brokenness and heartache on top of it all? I know you are working on me, but I feel so weak and lonely. Sometimes I just want to be home, where there are no tears and pain. I guess I am just homesick for heaven."

And in the silence, He returned His answer.

Oh, but Ashli, just think about the time that you have had so far. Remember all the adventures we have had together in Nicaragua, Honduras, and Africa? Remember how close we have grown together through camp, Uplift, youth group, BSF, backpacking trips in the middle of the woods, vacations to beautiful national parks I created, and Passion conferences? And don't forget all the joy you have found in serving me on the mission field and at your church and school. And just think - the best is yet to come! You still have a whole year left at Harding with your friends, your sisters in Chi Omega Pi, and HUmanity. You still have to finish nursing school so that I can show you where to go in the world to being healing in my name. And don't forget about the book that I gave you, because that is supposed to be published in September...

My sobbing ceased as He continued. Plus, the people I have put in your life love you. I love you, and I have marvelous plans and purpose for you to be here.

So I sang a little song in my head:

I've got confidence
my Lord is gonna see me through.
No matter what the case may be,
I know my Lord is gonna fix it for me.

And as I was falling asleep, He barely whispered, And don't worry, You will see me soon. I am coming back in just a little while to get you and bring you home. Heaven will be here before you know it.

We all need a little dose of homesickness every once in a while because this broken world is not our home. In a world damaged by sin, we must lay our homesickness at the feet of Jesus and wait for His glorious return, when all that is wrong will be made right. And in the meantime, when your heart is broken for the poverty and wickedness of the world, or when your tears flow because of personal hurt and sadness in your life, remember that Jesus has a purpose for you in this life. The best is yet to come, and then He will be back to bring us all home.