A Cup of Warm Cider on a Chilly Fall Night
It had been a rough day. It was one of those days that I didn't know how to answer people when they asked me how I was doing. Part of me wanted to be honest and spill all my woes...but part of me wanted to just say I'm fine and let the world move on. The truth is that I was feeling very bitter toward nursing school. Sometimes, it feels like the busyness and work load has swept me away from campus life and locked me in the library and nursing lab.
At the beginning of the semester, I was all "gung-ho" about everything, but as the weeks have worn on, I have lost motivation and energy. I have become tired - maybe even exhausted. I felt like I had been robbed of sleep, energy, free time, and even joy. I was stuck in a rut - in a funk - and I was finding it difficult to snap out of it.
So I went to Bible study that Wednesday night, hoping for some encouragement. As soon as I walked into the room, the warm scent of fall filled the air. I took a deep breath and instantly relaxed a little. "Have some apple cider!" The lady leading the devotional welcomed us into the room and directed us towards the mugs. Oh, how I love apple cider! I filled my mug to the brim, grabbed a ginger snap to go with it, and snuggled up on the couch with a soft fluffy pillow, listening to what would be said next.
"I was searching my heart for what we could focus on tonight, and this is what I recieved..." The lady leading the Bible study paused for a brief moment and then spoke in a soft, gentle voice, "Peace." I knew the Lord had me in mind when He gave her that word.
For the devotional, we turned down the lights and spent an hour listening to songs that spoke pure Scripture about peace. As I relaxed and opened my heart to the Lord, He gave me a vision, a picture in my mind. There I was, going about my day and living my life, telling the Lord how stressful it all was. I was bearing down with all my effort, saying to myself, "Choose peace! Choose peace!" Then the Lord came to me and said, "What are you doing with your hands?" I looked at my hands and realized that as I was bearing down and trying to force peace into my life, I had clenched my fists very tightly, so tightly that my knuckles were white and my muscles sore. He then carefully took His hands in mine and told me, "My peace surpasses understanding. You can't try to make sense out of it or squeeze it into your life." Then He slowly uncurled my fingers and opened my palms. "I want to give you my peace, and you must open your hands to recieve it." As I opened my hands, I layed down all my stresses and burdens and worries at His feet...one at a time. It took a little while, but I finally emptied my soul before Him and looked back into His eyes.
Next, with empty hands and a free heart, the Lord took a cup and placed it in my hands. I remembered a Scripture that I had read that very morning in John 18 when Jesus was arrested before His crucifixion. In fear of the moment, Peter chopped off the ear of one of the enemies. Jesus responded by healing the man's ear and then saying, "Shall I not drink the cup the Father has given me?"
I know that nursing school is nothing like the crucifixion that Jesus faced, but to me the principle is the same. Once I finally opened my hands to recieve God's grace and peace, He placed a cup in my hands - a cup called nursing school. Should I not drink this cup? I expected the drink to be bitter, but when I lifted the cup to my lips, it smelled and tasted just like apple cider.
When I opened my eyes at the end of the song and reflected on everything God had just spoken to me through that vision, I found a cup of warm cider in my hands. And I smiled.
I now know that God's peace is not cicumstantial. It exists and in fact thrives in the most challenging of circumstances. God's peace is not the result of circumstances, but a choice in the midst of circumstances. Yet it is not a bearing-down-clenched-fist choice, but an open-handed choice. And really, it is more like a gift - a gift that you recieve when you open your hands wide.
For when you open your hands, you can lay your burdens down and recieve real peace. It is a peace that passes understanding, and it tastes just like a cup of warm, sweet cider on a chilly fall night.
At the beginning of the semester, I was all "gung-ho" about everything, but as the weeks have worn on, I have lost motivation and energy. I have become tired - maybe even exhausted. I felt like I had been robbed of sleep, energy, free time, and even joy. I was stuck in a rut - in a funk - and I was finding it difficult to snap out of it.
So I went to Bible study that Wednesday night, hoping for some encouragement. As soon as I walked into the room, the warm scent of fall filled the air. I took a deep breath and instantly relaxed a little. "Have some apple cider!" The lady leading the devotional welcomed us into the room and directed us towards the mugs. Oh, how I love apple cider! I filled my mug to the brim, grabbed a ginger snap to go with it, and snuggled up on the couch with a soft fluffy pillow, listening to what would be said next.
"I was searching my heart for what we could focus on tonight, and this is what I recieved..." The lady leading the Bible study paused for a brief moment and then spoke in a soft, gentle voice, "Peace." I knew the Lord had me in mind when He gave her that word.
For the devotional, we turned down the lights and spent an hour listening to songs that spoke pure Scripture about peace. As I relaxed and opened my heart to the Lord, He gave me a vision, a picture in my mind. There I was, going about my day and living my life, telling the Lord how stressful it all was. I was bearing down with all my effort, saying to myself, "Choose peace! Choose peace!" Then the Lord came to me and said, "What are you doing with your hands?" I looked at my hands and realized that as I was bearing down and trying to force peace into my life, I had clenched my fists very tightly, so tightly that my knuckles were white and my muscles sore. He then carefully took His hands in mine and told me, "My peace surpasses understanding. You can't try to make sense out of it or squeeze it into your life." Then He slowly uncurled my fingers and opened my palms. "I want to give you my peace, and you must open your hands to recieve it." As I opened my hands, I layed down all my stresses and burdens and worries at His feet...one at a time. It took a little while, but I finally emptied my soul before Him and looked back into His eyes.
Next, with empty hands and a free heart, the Lord took a cup and placed it in my hands. I remembered a Scripture that I had read that very morning in John 18 when Jesus was arrested before His crucifixion. In fear of the moment, Peter chopped off the ear of one of the enemies. Jesus responded by healing the man's ear and then saying, "Shall I not drink the cup the Father has given me?"
I know that nursing school is nothing like the crucifixion that Jesus faced, but to me the principle is the same. Once I finally opened my hands to recieve God's grace and peace, He placed a cup in my hands - a cup called nursing school. Should I not drink this cup? I expected the drink to be bitter, but when I lifted the cup to my lips, it smelled and tasted just like apple cider.
When I opened my eyes at the end of the song and reflected on everything God had just spoken to me through that vision, I found a cup of warm cider in my hands. And I smiled.
I now know that God's peace is not cicumstantial. It exists and in fact thrives in the most challenging of circumstances. God's peace is not the result of circumstances, but a choice in the midst of circumstances. Yet it is not a bearing-down-clenched-fist choice, but an open-handed choice. And really, it is more like a gift - a gift that you recieve when you open your hands wide.
For when you open your hands, you can lay your burdens down and recieve real peace. It is a peace that passes understanding, and it tastes just like a cup of warm, sweet cider on a chilly fall night.
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