Never Afraid

"Do you have a favorite story in the Bible?" I asked. She was sitting in the passenger seat, so I glanced her way before directing my eyes back to the red dirt road in front of us. She was thinking. 

"Ever since I was in primary school, I have loved the story of Joseph." She recounted how he dreamed and how all his brothers hated him for it. She recalled how God was with him in all his troubles and how he was able to forgive his brothers at the end of the story. "I want to be like that," she said. 

Our conversation ended as we pulled up to a nice little family compound with a courtyard and hopped out so begin our visit. We had barely said our hellos and greetings when her phone rang and her face fell. 

"Zieme is not doing well," she announced, the look of a worried mother on her face. 

She had already told me that her daughter, Zieme, had malaria. She had already started treatment, but that doesn't mean things can't take a turn for the worse. 

"What happened?" I inquired, but all she knew was that her daughter had trembled and fallen. I immediately started fearing the classic convulsions that arrive with severe cerebral malaria. We got right back in the car and drove to the hospital as fast as we could, which is where Zieme had already been taken. 

Much to our relief, Zieme was stable. She had not had any convulsions after all, she had just fallen at her house likely because of dehydration and hypoglycemia. Still, she was admitted under observation and placed on an IV perfusion of sugar water and paracetamol. As I sat next to my friend, who cradled her daughters head in her lap, she spoke. 

"God is not afraid." 

"Never," I replied, and our eyes met. The fear that was once in her eyes had been replaced by the look of faith. "I can't think of a single time when God has been afraid. Even when we are." 

A man who sitting nearby to wait for the doctor started to nod his head. 

"I think about Jesus when he was in the boat with his disciples in a storm. All the disciples were so afraid. And what was Jesus doing? He was sleeping! He was perfectly calm and unafraid. I want to be like that, able to sleep in storms because I know who is in control." 

"It's also a testimony," she added. "When we are fearless in circumstances that should bring fear, the world will notice." 

Zieme stirred and turned, and her mother placed her hand on her back to comfort and quiet her. 

"We talked about the story of Joseph today, not knowing what would be happening shortly after," I noticed. She smiled and agreed. I added, "God always uses our suffering to accomplish his will and brig him glory." 

"I'm trusting in him," she said. 

"I can see that in you, and it's a beautiful thing." 

She said she wanted to be like Joseph, and I see that she is already becoming. 

Life and death happens so quickly here in Burkina. I've been in situations exactly like this before when you bring the child to the hospital and he dies an hour later. That's why such a crisis scared such a mother, and that's why the story of Joseph (and Jesus in the storm) is relevant for her and for us all. 

I've been battling a feeling of disconnection recently and have been wondering why I came to Burkina Faso and if I am doing any good. But today, when I was sitting on a hard wooden bench outside a dirty hospital, I remembered why I came. I want to be a missionary - and a long-term one at that - so that I can live life with people and live it by faith. I don't want to just come and dig wells or do health teaching or host a kids' VBS, I also want to be with people through their life events. I want to be at their side when they are sick. I want to be there for weddings, funerals, births, and baptisms. I want to be one who listens when they have either good or bad news to share.

And when all that stuff happens, I want to navigate it with them with eyes of faith and a heart of love. Because those are the moments when you really get to share Jesus.  

Today, God gave me the chance to do that. After leaving the hospital, I called my friend later that evening to check on her, and Zieme was doing well enough to go home for the night. We credited God with the power to restore her health and strength, for the situation could have easily gone the exact opposite direction. 

I want to be like Joseph, too. My struggles aren't angry brothers, being sold into slavery, or being locked away in a prison cell like Joseph...and neither are my struggles fighting malaria or poverty like my friend. In fact, what I face - my discouragement and doubting and loneliness - seems to be nothing compared to that. But I will walk this path hand in hand with the people around me, and together we will navigate this life with our eyes of faith.

We will remember that our God has never been afraid, and so neither should we.