Stepping Stones

"You just got back from Africa, right?"

I nod, recognizing the familiar question and anticipating the one that will quickly follow.

"So how was it?"

I now have approximately thirty seconds to explain two months that have changed my life.

What do you say? I have to chose my words carefully. I want to tell about the amazing adventure it was to live like an African among Africans. I want to tell a story about each of the children in the orphanage so that this listener can get a tiny peek into their precious personalities. I want to talk about missions and God's great big heart for the world and how his kingdom is spreading like wildfire across nations and people groups. I want my face to show beaming joy in loving on God's kids. At the same time,  I want to express the heartache that comes from experiencing AIDS, orphans, starvation, and poverty first hand as a result of the injustice and brokenness of this world. And in all of this, I want to centralize on the vast greatness of God, who is sovereign over the nations, the Redeemer of the broken, the Living Water that satisfies, and the Savior of the world.

I have thirty seconds to actually make an impact on this person's life by describing how Africa has impacted mine. I have only thirty seconds before I lose their attention or the conversation moves to something else. In that short amount of time, I want to make them smile bigger. I want to make tears well up in their eyes. I want to make their heart beat faster. I want them to leave saying, "Wow, God is crazy amazing."

"So how was it?" they ask.

It is hard to choose an answer, and honestly, I say something different each time. Sometimes I tell the story of going to Kimini or about Latif's adoption. Sometimes I talk about how God changed my heart and gave me a new perspective on missions and ministry. Sometimes I say, "It was such an adventure". And sometimes I don't have words to say at all, and I just close my eyes and say, "It was wonderful." And every once in a while, I get a chance to invite them over for a cup of African tea, and as it boils for an hour, I can show them pictures and share stories, laughs, and tears.

Many people who ask me this question know that I was going to Burkina to survey and hopefully decide if that was where I wanted to serve as a missionary long term. So the next question they ask is this: "Are you going back? Is this where God is calling you?"

I smile and honestly answer, "I still don't know."

I thought  that I would hit the ground running in Burkina and instantly know whether God was calling me or not. I thought God would make everything suddenly clear, but He did not. At first, it disappointed me, and I felt like a survey-failure because I left Burkina still not knowing if I was going to return to live there. But I am learning that God gives direction, not directions. So often, we want a detailed map with specific directions about how to live life. "Go three miles then turn left and continue for 1.2 miles before taking the first right at the stop sign." But that is not how God works very often. Instead, he hands us a compass that points in one direction, and he says, "Now take one step forward at a time." So it is much more about direction than directions.

In that sense, this survey trip was abundantly successful. I may not have specific directions about when and where to go, but I have a general direction because God has taught me so much my own heartbeat and passion. While in Burkina, I learned a lot about myself and how I can serve and minister as a missionary. In addition, I learned so much about Burkina culture and daily life. I observed their health care and saw their needs. I assessed spirituality and receptivity. I participated in what other missionaries are doing and dreamed about what I would do if I were to live there. I definitely left a piece of my heart in Burkina Faso, and I am more ready to return if God gives the "go".

A wise person told me, "You cannot steer a car unless it is moving." We have to get going, and then God directs and steers us along the path He has for us. I love that, and that's why I am calling this trip my stepping stone trip. I now understand my mission and my calling more than ever before - not that I understand completely, but that I have dreamed about what it will look like and how I need to prepare for it. Even though God has still not revealed my destination, that's okay. That's what makes it an adventure. That's what makes it a stepping stone. He has promised to let me know when and where to go, and it will probably be slightly unexpected and spontaneous. God and I are learning to work well together that way.

After two months in Burkina and two months of blogging my stories, adventures, and lessons learned, I leave with this conclusion. (And you are included in it!) All I know for certain is this: God is actively working around the world, calling nations and people groups to Himself. His kingdom is spreading and growing, and He has called all of us to be a part of its expansion and deepening. For me, I know my field is on foreign soil, but yours is probably on the home field. He rarely gives us directions like we ask for, but He always gives direction. As we move forward in this adventure, He will let us know when and where to go and what to do.

As for me, if it is Burkina, I will go back in a heartbeat.

Until then, I will take things one stepping stone at a time.

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