Life to the Full
With boxes packed and car loaded, I signed out of the dorm, but I didn't want to leave. I slowly walked to the fountain in the middle of campus, where I let my feet soak in the cold water as I prayed, thanking God once again for an amazing semester. "I know I have thanked you a million times, Lord, but do you mind if I tell you one more time? Do you get tired of hearing this?" I could imagine him shaking his head and welcoming me into his lap again. I don't think he minded at all.
The year started with the Passion Conference in Atlanta, where God touched my heart through worship and justice. He broke my heart for what broke his: modern-day slavery in the form of human trafficking. Taking that passion back to campus, a friend and I started an organization to raise awareness and funds to fight human trafficking. In one semester, we have established a group, hosted several events, and raised close to three thousand dollars.
Also this semester, I successfully finished my first year in the college of nursing. I completed my chronic and psychiatric clinical rotations, which far exceeded my expectations. I am constantly amazed at the opportunities I get as a nursing major, from holding the hand of a patient in respiratory distress, to counseling patients and families about chronic illness, to attending AA meetings and playing dominoes with my buddies in the psych ward. These experiences have changed my life. I have learned to see people as Jesus sees them and love them with His unfailing, unconditional love.
My faith and my major have become inseparable. My spirituality has become one with my schoolwork. Everything that happened in clinical or class affected my walk with the Lord, and everything in my walk with the Lord impacted my classes and clinicals. I have always known that my life should not be "compartmentalized", that my faith should be a part of everything I do, but I have never really experienced that as fully as I did this semester.
Not only have I discovered my passion for nursing, but also for missions. This semester I started going to a Sunday night devotional called All Missions Fellowship (AMF), which is a gathering of missions-minded college students who sit at the feet of previous, current, or soon-to-be field missionaries. Week after week, we hear their stories, learn from their wisdom, and are inspired by like-minded passions.
I attended a Health Care Missions conference in Dallas this semester with my team that is going to Tanzania this summer. I also went to Nicaragua over spring break, making my fifth trip to the country that holds a special place in my heart. It was there that I first felt God's call to mission work in my life, and it was there that I committed to being a missionary for the rest of my life.
Also this semester, I committed to going to Tanzania on my first medical mission trip, and I have watched God faithfully provide everything I need to get there. I now know more than ever before that God is making my dream come true - I am getting to be a missionary, and I am going to spend the rest of my life doing it.
Then there is my lovely social club, Chi Omega Pi. I have to give those beautiful ladies (and beaux!) a shout-out for their constant encouragement, faithful love for God, and delightful craziness. This group of godly women and men has strengthened my faith, and I was so blessed to serve as their service director this semester.
On top of all that, this semester has held many other simple joys and treasures. Weekend trips to Heber, a spring camp out, frisbee on the front lawn, lunches at big round tables in the cafeteria, date nights at Frozen-Ds, carhopping at Sonic, playing keys at church, games in the student center, and laughing myself to sleep with my roommate. I have met so many new people this semester, and each one has blessed me in a unique way that only God could have orchestrated.
And there have been many tears this semester. I don't want to make it seem like it has been easy. In fact, this has probably been my most difficult semester yet. The work load was not only physically exhausting, but emotionally taxing. Dealing with chronic illness and dying patients in chronic rotation plus working with the mentally ill, addicts, and criminally insane patients in psych rotation has not made for a mindlessly passing semester. Then subtract hours of sleep and factor in skipped meals. It hasn't been pretty. In addition to the academic arena, many of my friends have been going through family or personal problems, which has put extra stress and struggle in my path as I seek to share their burdens. Yes, there have been many tears and heartaches.
Looking back at all of this - all that happened this semester - literally brings tears to my eyes. The emotions run high because I see one common thread through all of these experiences and all of these relationships. Life to the full. Yes, I have been crazy-busy with trying to balance everything on my plate while prioritizing what is most important. At times, I have wanted to scream, "My life is absolutely crazy!" But then I stop myself and say, "No, my life is absolutely full."
For a long time, my favorite verse, John 10:10, has been the theme of my life. Jesus says, "I have come that they may have life and have it to the full." For as long as I can remember, that has been the desire of my heart. God, I want to have full life.
Now as I gaze in hindsight at this semester, I am past the wishing. For the first time, instead of saying, "I want full life", I am saying, "I have full life." God has given me life to the full, and it is all because of Jesus Christ. Without him, I really would be nothing.
I apologize that this blog entry has been more like a reflective diary than anything else, but I can't help but share my story because it testifies to the astounding glory and holiness of the Lord. How am I able to be a nursing major while holding an office in my club, starting an new organization on campus, playing in a band, and go on weekend-random-adventures? Because of Jesus Christ. He is faithful. He is unchanging.
He is the one who has brought me out of this semester in one piece. Not only that, but He has brought me out of this semester with a bigger awareness of His presence and a deeper love for Him. He led me all the way, and if I were to be completely honest, I would say that He carried me in His arms because I couldn't walk on my own. I declare with tears in my eyes that God is the giver of life to the full, and He gives it to the least of these - such as me. I feel so unworthy, so small, and so entirely overwhelmed at the kindness and greatness of God.
To put it simply, I feel so completely satisfied, yet so thirsty for more of Him.
May you hear this story and praise God with me, knowing that living in obedience to Him is a path of both joy and sorrow, leading to full and abundant life that exceeds all expectations.
The year started with the Passion Conference in Atlanta, where God touched my heart through worship and justice. He broke my heart for what broke his: modern-day slavery in the form of human trafficking. Taking that passion back to campus, a friend and I started an organization to raise awareness and funds to fight human trafficking. In one semester, we have established a group, hosted several events, and raised close to three thousand dollars.
Also this semester, I successfully finished my first year in the college of nursing. I completed my chronic and psychiatric clinical rotations, which far exceeded my expectations. I am constantly amazed at the opportunities I get as a nursing major, from holding the hand of a patient in respiratory distress, to counseling patients and families about chronic illness, to attending AA meetings and playing dominoes with my buddies in the psych ward. These experiences have changed my life. I have learned to see people as Jesus sees them and love them with His unfailing, unconditional love.
My faith and my major have become inseparable. My spirituality has become one with my schoolwork. Everything that happened in clinical or class affected my walk with the Lord, and everything in my walk with the Lord impacted my classes and clinicals. I have always known that my life should not be "compartmentalized", that my faith should be a part of everything I do, but I have never really experienced that as fully as I did this semester.
Not only have I discovered my passion for nursing, but also for missions. This semester I started going to a Sunday night devotional called All Missions Fellowship (AMF), which is a gathering of missions-minded college students who sit at the feet of previous, current, or soon-to-be field missionaries. Week after week, we hear their stories, learn from their wisdom, and are inspired by like-minded passions.
I attended a Health Care Missions conference in Dallas this semester with my team that is going to Tanzania this summer. I also went to Nicaragua over spring break, making my fifth trip to the country that holds a special place in my heart. It was there that I first felt God's call to mission work in my life, and it was there that I committed to being a missionary for the rest of my life.
Also this semester, I committed to going to Tanzania on my first medical mission trip, and I have watched God faithfully provide everything I need to get there. I now know more than ever before that God is making my dream come true - I am getting to be a missionary, and I am going to spend the rest of my life doing it.
Then there is my lovely social club, Chi Omega Pi. I have to give those beautiful ladies (and beaux!) a shout-out for their constant encouragement, faithful love for God, and delightful craziness. This group of godly women and men has strengthened my faith, and I was so blessed to serve as their service director this semester.
On top of all that, this semester has held many other simple joys and treasures. Weekend trips to Heber, a spring camp out, frisbee on the front lawn, lunches at big round tables in the cafeteria, date nights at Frozen-Ds, carhopping at Sonic, playing keys at church, games in the student center, and laughing myself to sleep with my roommate. I have met so many new people this semester, and each one has blessed me in a unique way that only God could have orchestrated.
And when it all comes down to it, it's about those relationships. Nursing school is about relationships; mission work is about relationships; life and faith are about relationships. I love college, and I love Harding because of the people that surround me...all the time. The nearness and closeness of relationships is what touches my heart and brings tears to my eyes even as I write this. The people I love are right down the hall, right next door, or just a little way across campus. And they are not only close in proximity, but they are also close in spirit. I am constantly surrounded by a body of believers with whom I live life - every part of it, including the laughs and the tears, the accomplishments and the disappointments.
And there have been many tears this semester. I don't want to make it seem like it has been easy. In fact, this has probably been my most difficult semester yet. The work load was not only physically exhausting, but emotionally taxing. Dealing with chronic illness and dying patients in chronic rotation plus working with the mentally ill, addicts, and criminally insane patients in psych rotation has not made for a mindlessly passing semester. Then subtract hours of sleep and factor in skipped meals. It hasn't been pretty. In addition to the academic arena, many of my friends have been going through family or personal problems, which has put extra stress and struggle in my path as I seek to share their burdens. Yes, there have been many tears and heartaches.
Looking back at all of this - all that happened this semester - literally brings tears to my eyes. The emotions run high because I see one common thread through all of these experiences and all of these relationships. Life to the full. Yes, I have been crazy-busy with trying to balance everything on my plate while prioritizing what is most important. At times, I have wanted to scream, "My life is absolutely crazy!" But then I stop myself and say, "No, my life is absolutely full."
For a long time, my favorite verse, John 10:10, has been the theme of my life. Jesus says, "I have come that they may have life and have it to the full." For as long as I can remember, that has been the desire of my heart. God, I want to have full life.
Now as I gaze in hindsight at this semester, I am past the wishing. For the first time, instead of saying, "I want full life", I am saying, "I have full life." God has given me life to the full, and it is all because of Jesus Christ. Without him, I really would be nothing.
I apologize that this blog entry has been more like a reflective diary than anything else, but I can't help but share my story because it testifies to the astounding glory and holiness of the Lord. How am I able to be a nursing major while holding an office in my club, starting an new organization on campus, playing in a band, and go on weekend-random-adventures? Because of Jesus Christ. He is faithful. He is unchanging.
He is the one who has brought me out of this semester in one piece. Not only that, but He has brought me out of this semester with a bigger awareness of His presence and a deeper love for Him. He led me all the way, and if I were to be completely honest, I would say that He carried me in His arms because I couldn't walk on my own. I declare with tears in my eyes that God is the giver of life to the full, and He gives it to the least of these - such as me. I feel so unworthy, so small, and so entirely overwhelmed at the kindness and greatness of God.
To put it simply, I feel so completely satisfied, yet so thirsty for more of Him.
May you hear this story and praise God with me, knowing that living in obedience to Him is a path of both joy and sorrow, leading to full and abundant life that exceeds all expectations.
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