See Something More

I did not feel like I normally do when I drive to work. Despite my unusual emotions, I was prompted to pray as I always do before going into the hospital each evening. "Lord, I really don't want to be doing this right now," I sighed. My family was back at home, getting ready to go out to dinner with a group of friends. Honestly, I wanted to be there with all of them. "But I feel guilty because I have only been working at this job for a few months. I should still be really excited to go to work, right? But God, right now I just don't want to go." Up until this point, going in to work each time was a new adventure. I couldn't wait to see what kind of patients I would have and what I would learn while caring for them. My throat kind of hurt as I prayed these last words: "...and tonight, I kind of hope we don't have any patients. I'm just tired and don't feel like doing anything." I let out a long breath that I had been holding in f...

As I sat on my living room floor in front of the fireplace all snuggled up in a blanket, the words to this famous Christmas song could not have been more perfectly relevant: Oh the weather outside is frightful But the fire is so delightful And since we've no place to go Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow I sipped on a mug of hot cocoa and watched the thick gray winter sky drop ice flakes that coated the roads with a layer to make driving anywhere nearly impossible. We kept a fire going in our fireplace constantly through the ice storm, and I spent every spare moment sitting in front of it. We played games in front of it, watched movies in front of it, and ate dinner in front of it. And it's the real-deal kind of fireplace. It's not the TV screen type that puts out fake heat, nor is it the kind with the perfectly placed (yet entirely fake) yule logs that, like Moses' bush, catch fire but never burn up. No, this is a real fire place with a real fire in it - th...

Over the past few months, I have discovered the many perks of being a nurse rather than a nursing student.  For example, I get to take care of real people without doing 20 hours of paperwork on their case. I get to study the things that are relevant in my field without writing papers and taking exams. And then, instead of paying to go to school, I get paid for what I love to do. And let me add to that...the pay is not too bad. When I opened my first check, I think my mouth dropped open and my eyes popped out of my head. I have held a few jobs in my life, but I am pretty sure the number on this first check surpassed all my previous earnings put together. What does a single girl who shares a small apartment and only has two bills - water and electric - do with money like this? Please don't hear me bragging; I am just being honest. I am certainly not the richest girl in the world, but sometimes it feels like it because I have never had money like this. The nurses at work ask me,...

"Have you ever had a real Christmas tree before?" I asked my roommate, Rachael. "No. You wanna get one this year?" We looked at each other and smiled as we started scheming. I called my dad a few days later. "Can I borrow a saw?" I asked. "Ummm, yeah. What are you going to do with it?" he asked like every good parent should. "Well, we want to cut down a Christmas tree for our apartment." "Where exactly do you plan on doing that?" he replied. "Any suggestions?" This time the silence was on his end of the line, and I knew exactly what was coming. "You can't do that! It's illegal!" With that idea busted, we decided to support our local famers and visit the Christmas tree farm. My new year's resolution this year will probably be to become friends with someone who owns a large piece of property with pine and fir trees all over it. After selecting the perfect pine and getting it se...

"They're here!" Everyone hopped up from the couches and stepped away from the kitchen preparations to fill the entry way with a welcome party. A cold breeze rushed in as the Richters walked through the open front door, but the warmth of excited greetings and hugs was so strong that I hardly noticed. I had been looking forward to this moment ever since I first met the Richter family in Burkina Faso this summer, and now our families were finally getting the chance to meet. There were seventeen of us in all - my family, the Richter family, the Harris family, and Emily (my missions partner and travel buddy in Burkina Faso this summer). My family knows the Harris family from church, but the Harris family is related to the Richters, which I found out when I went to Burkina to visit them and their mission team this summer. It's a small world, and you don't have to go far to find connections in the family of God. We filled the kitchen table and overflowed into the d...

"I will follow you wherever you go," he told Jesus. I wonder if he pre-contemplated what Jesus would possibly say in response to him. Was he confident that Jesus would say "come, follow me" or was he nervous? Was he bursting with excitement or was he slightly anxious about what such a bold commitment would mean? Was he hoping that Jesus would lead him to amazing places, or was he fearful that following Jesus would take him to places he did not want to go? Was he authentic or was he just trying to put on a show? All I know is that I have said the same thing to Jesus, offering to follow him wherever he may lead, and I have felt all of those emotions. No matter what the man felt when he approached Jesus with this statement, I bet he was not expecting the response that Jesus gave him. "Foxes have holes and the birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head." (Matthew 18:20) The invitation to follow Jesus already existed f...

"Just wait until you see this!" my mom said as she lifted the trunk and pulled out a bright orange, vintage golf bag that looked like it came right out of the 70's. Actually, it did. I just did the math. My mom took one golf class in college, which automatically qualifies her to teach me to play, right? "This is the best idea we've ever had!" I exclaimed as we walked onto the first tee-off. After a three-minute lesson, I was ready to go like a pro. We dug out an old, yellowed golf ball from the bag, and we found some splintered, half-disintegrated tees in a pocket, too. My mom took a big swing and landed her golf ball about forty feet away and already off the course. We both doubled over laughing, gasping to breathe. After my abs recovered from that, I moved the tee up to the closest edge, hoping I could make it farther than mom. Just a few feet away from me, the course started to roll down into a small pond. I took my first swing and whiffed it just...

Black-out curtains, extra strong coffee, breakfast for dinner, and fast-food carry out at 1:30 am. These are the joys of night shift. I have never stayed up all night in my whole life...not until last week when I started working nights. It has been an adjustment to say the least, and an adventurous one at that. This little I-need-at-least-eight-hours-of-sleep nurse has been having a hard time knowing what day it is, what time it is, and whether I should be awake or asleep. I quickly discovered that when I have a patient to care for, I do not have a problem staying awake and alert at all - even in the middle of the night. It is when the rooms are empty, the halls are quiet, and I have nothing to do that my eyes start to get heavy. That's when I practice creative ways to stay awake: a meal at 1:00 am, a strong cup of coffee at 2:00, spicy cheetos and a game of cards at 3:00. All these experiences and adjustments have made me love Psalm 121:4 which says, "He who watches ove...

He lived in the graveyard. "Among the tombs," the Bible says in Matthew 8. He would cry out all day and all night long. He cut himself until he bled. People tried to chain him up for obvious reasons. This guy sounds terrifying and absolutely insane, but he was also so strong that he could literally break the chains off. So people kept trying to chain and restrain him. Except Jesus. Jesus set Him free. After falling at Jesus' feet in submission, the demons that occupied this man were forced to flee at the command of Christ. Suddenly, the tomb-dwelling, self-cutting, chain-breaking man was sitting upright, dressed, and in his right mind. The screams that the villagers heard throughout the day and night ceased. The people no longer had to worry about this crazy man who lived among the tombs. They didn't need to chain him up to protect themselves, their families, and their children from him anymore. You would think that the people of the village would be thankful to...

The first time I read "To Kill A Mockingbird" in high school, I really didn't like it. Maybe I was too young to completely understand it's meaning and significance, or maybe I was just bitter because it was a required reading. However, I have since then rediscovered the story, and now I love it. I thought to myself, Was this the same book I read back then? Why did I despise it so much then when I love it so much now?  I think the same thing about the books of Jeremiah and Ezekiel in the Bible. I used to think of them as sad, sad stories about God's anger being poured out on Israel and the nations that despised Him. The past two weeks, I have re-read the stories and rediscovered something quite miraculous: they aren't sad stories; they are love stories! I used to read them and only see God's anger and punishment. I wondered how to justify the "good" God that I know with this wrathful, vengeful God that is portrayed in the prophecies of Jeremiah ...

On the way home from work, I couldn't stop thinking about the events of that day. I kept running through the day in head, analyzing everything that I observed and thinking about what I would have done if I had been in the nurse in that situation. It was an emergency situation that ended up just fine - the mother and baby would both be okay. Still, I couldn't seem to stop thinking about it. It's okay, just let it go. I told myself as I drove home. Keep work at work, and now let your mind relax. But I found myself running through the events in my head again as I was cooking dinner. Stop it! You have thought about this enough. Everything is okay now, so think about something else! When my roommate asked about my day, I told her about the emergency event and how I still couldn't get it off my mind. Why is this bothering me so much? I finally asked myself. Then I realized that this was my last week of orientation on day shift before I move to working nights. After...

Check out the Eating Disorders Hope page. They so graciously shared my story this week and are doing great work to encourage and offer hope to people with eating disorders!

I was driving to Searcy for homecoming weekend when I realized that I had made no plans. Only a few miles outside Searcy, it hit me when my mom asked me over the phone, "Who are you going to stay with?" because I had absolutely no idea. I remembered something a friend had shared with me earlier in the week. Every morning, she wakes up and spends five minutes asking God what His to-do list is for the day. "It is hard because my own to-do list automatically rushes into my head," she confessed. But she listens closely, and she has some pretty cool stories of where God takes her and who she meets along the way. She inspired me, so I decided to give her challange a try. Lord, this weekend is in your hands. What is your to-do list? Show me where to go and what to do...because my schedule is completely and entirely free. With no agenda, I pulled into a parking lot on campus just in time for a friend to text me and invite me to her room. I spent a couple of ...

On November 1, many adventurous young men will cap their razors and tuck them away at the back of their bathroom shelves. For the next thirty days, they will proudly sport their facial hair, however wild it may grow. You may have heard of "No Shave November", the shameless event where brave young men let their facial hair grow all month long. I remember walking around campus at the end of November and noticing how suddenly every male looked like a caveman or a mountain man...or like they just came off Duck Dynasty. For the brave females, "No Shave November" turns into "No Shame November", which is only for the ladies that are confident enough to not shave their legs for an entire month. One year, my university hosted a "Shameless Shins" contest in November, but my friends and I renamed it the "Shins of Shame." Needless to say, none of us lasted. It was all in good fun...but definitely pointless. And maybe slightly gross. Then I hear...

"I could totally live here," I announced as we sat on a bench outside and I happily licked my cookie-flavored popsicle from Las Paletas, a specialty popsicle store. "That's one more point for Nashville," I said the next day when we sipped amazing homemade ice cream sodas at The Pharmacy restaurant. For my first weekend in Nashville, my native friend showed me some of the best of Nashville. We walked through Pearcy Warner Park as the autumn breeze blew, covering the ground with a fall blanket of colorful leaves and putting a slight chill in the air that made me wish I had brought a jacket. We shopped at REI, gawked at the central library downtown, took pictures in front of the Parthenon, and listened to live music in Centennial Park. We cooked a fall batch of chili to share with friends and went to a bonfire out in the countryside, where I enjoyed a homemade pumpkin-spiced latte and roasted marshmallows over the open fire. Perhaps that night was the most memora...

Check out my recent guest post on Finding Balance here ! http://www.findingbalance.com/2013/10/see-something/

At 6:30 am, it was still dark outside as we pumped up our tires and made our way to the starting area. Still in sweatpants and a long sleeved shirt, I breathed in the cool fall air and laughed, "Hmmm, it's a great day for a swim!" Soon, the sun began to reflect off the dark navy water, making the lake shine and glisten. We staked our claim in the transition area, set up our bikes, laid out our towels, and pinned our numbers to our jerseys before making our way down to the lake to join the other competitors at the start. A group of about thirty women, all topped in brightly colored swim caps, waded up to their knees into the lake. There was an excitement in the air as the announcer counted down, "One minute!" "Fifteen seconds!" "On your mark, get set, go!" Although I started out with goose bumps on a chilly, dark autumn morning, the sun soon shone brightly, making it an absolutely perfect day for a sprint triathlon. Jessica and I had b...

I stood by the door, watching out the window for my sister to drive up in her little white Honda. As soon as I saw her headlights turn the corner, I grabbed my guitar, my bike, and my backpack and ran out the door to meet her. "Hey, sis!" I greeted her, "Let's go camping!" We tossed everything in the back, grabbed some Sonic on the way out of town (who doesn't want a breakfast burrito and tots at 9:00 at night?), and made our way up to Petit Jean mountain. As soon as we turned off the interstate, we left the city lights behind and the stars began to pop out one by one. As we snaked our way up the mountain along a narrow road, we left the busyness of normal life behind and entered the quiet, still forest. I leaned my head back, breathed in the crisp fall air, and breathed out the stresses of my new job and new apartment life. Suddenly, all decisions that I needed to make no longer needed to be made. All busy thoughts and emotions drifted away with the s...

With one quick click of a button, I registered online for my first sprint triathlon, a race that involves a 500 yard swim, 13 mile bike ride, and 3.4 mile run. One minute later, I googled, "how to train for a triathlon in eight weeks" and printed out a schedule. Two minutes later, I convinced a friend of mine, Jessica, to do it with me. So we bought some gear, put on our swimsuits, and loaded up our bikes for one of our very first workouts. "Swim thirty minutes?!" I exclaimed when I looked at the calendar for that day's training. "That's a long time!" Needless to say, that first week I barely swam five laps without getting out of breath and taking a break. Now, six weeks later and only 10 days away from race day, I can swim double the traithlon distance without stopping. For the first time last week, I did a mock run of the triathlon, and I was able to complete the entire race in a little over an hour and a half. We've come a long way i...

"Sometimes God answers yes, and sometimes He answers no." I have heard this explanation of how God answers prayer ever since I was a little girl in Sunday school. But then I read what Jesus says, I start to wonder... "If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and prove to be my disciples." (John 15:7-8) "Whatever you ask the Father in my name, He may give it to you." (John 15:16) "Ask and you will receive, that your joy may be full." (John 16:24) John reiterates Jesus' teaching in 1 John 5:14-15: "And this is the confidence we have toward Him, that if we ask anything according to His will He hears us. And if we know that He hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests we have asked of Him." It sounds like there is a way to pray in the Spirit, according to the will of God, so that all our...

The sun is out, the air is cool, and it's way too early to be up on a Saturday. But that's okay, because there is an excitement in the air. We are going garage-sale shopping. I had actually never even been "garage-saleing" until last Saturday when a couple of my friends and I got in the car and drove around, looking for signs and following them to places we didn't even know existed in Little Rock. The thing about garage sales is that you find some pretty ridiculous stuff, and then you feel like you need to buy it. "Look at this ferocious lion statue! I think we need this!" "How about this coffee table? The legs are made of dancing elves." We found old records, fur coats, a typewriter, and all things vintage. My friend bought some cuff links with sail boats on them. "Do you even have a shirt with cuff links?"  I asked. "Of course not," he answered, "but these are awesome!" My grand purchase: a casserole dish. ...

"Wherever the gospel is preached," Jesus said, "what this woman has done will also be told, in memory of her." That's what Jesus said about the woman in Matthew 26 who broke her alabaster jar of perfume and poured it on His head. The onlooking disciples were furious that this woman would waste such expensive perfume. They insisted that the perfume could have at least been sold and the money could be given to the poor. But Jesus did not see it as a waste. In fact, he called what she did "beautiful"- all because she loved Him and considered Him worth more to her than her expensive perfume. There is nothing - no good or moral deed - that is as valuable as simply loving Jesus. And so Jesus returned honor to the woman by telling her that her story would be shared alongside the gospel story when it is preached around the entire world. I used to wonder what this woman's act had to do with the gospel. Why should her story be told with the gospel st...

After being out of it for four years, it felt good to get back in. This past Wednesday, I went back to Bible Study Fellowship (BSF) - an international and interdenominational Bible Study for men, women, and children of all ages. Both of my parents are highly involved in BSF, and they took my sister and I with them ever since we were very young. I grew up going to BSF, and I sincerely testify that God used it to change my life. Because of BSF, I came to know God through the hard-core study of His Word. There are BSF classes all over the world...except Searcy, Arkansas...which is why I have missed it the past four years. But now I am back, and the study this year is the book of Matthew. In my Bible class at church, we are reading through the entire New Testament. This past week, we just so happened to be reading all of Matthew. Coincidence? I think not. Matthew is where it's at. Maybe it is because I am a nurse, but the healings of Jesus as recorded in Mat...

"First things first," my dad announced when he walked in my new room with a tool box in one hand and two metal hooks in the other. "Where's your hammock?" After carrying all the boxes from my car into my new apartment, the very first thing we did was screw two hooks into wall studs so that my hammock would hang nicely in my room. Needless to say, my dad did not help too much with unpacking after that. He got in that hammock and fell fast asleep! This may sound strange, but I actually love move-in days. Over the past four years, I have survived nine different moved-in days - from my house to the dorm, from my dorm back to the house, and now into my very own first apartment. I love to start out the day with a simple pile of boxes, and then watch them explode into an absolute disaster all over the floor. "Where is all this stuff going to go?" "Will this fit here?" "Move that back over there." "This looks good here." I...

At this time of year five years ago - when I was beginning my senior year of high school - I was in the immediate wake of my battle with an eating disorder. After nine months of treatment, I had just been released from the clinic because I had regained my health and claimed victory through Christ over an eating disorder. Were you to talk to me at that time and explain to me the path on which God was going to take me over the next few years, my mouth would have dropped open in disbelief. At the time, I was still shaken by the waves of my eating disorder. I was still searching for meaning and purpose through it all. Now, five years later, God has taken my little story and my shy personality, and He has transformed it into a testimony that I can boldly share with others. I have seen God strengthen and encourage others through my own personal struggle. I have watched Him write even more chapters of my story as I wrote and published my book, Boundless: Discovering God In Your Eating Dis...

This should not come as a shocker to anyone, but just because I graduated from nursing school does not mean I know everything about being a nurse. In fact, quite the opposite is true. I am spending at least 12 weeks in orientation in the hospital for the very purpose of learning how to be a better labor and delivery nurse. Many days, I get into situations where I do not know what to do. Sometimes I feel like I know absolutely nothing, which is really not a pleasant or comfortable feeling. Most days on the way to work, I pray and ask God for strength to absorb what I am learning and the ability to remember and apply it in future situations. On the way home from work, I usually pray again, this time explaining to Him what I learned in hopes that speaking it aloud will help me remember and process the information. I remember one day last week in particular when I felt especially slow and stupid. Looking back, I was probably too hard on myself, but at the time I felt like I should have...