Number 26
As soon as the topic of spring break mission trips came up back in the fall semester, I knew exactly what I wanted to do.
First, I applied to be a trip leader. I will give you one guess to where I wanted to go. Yep, Jinotega, Nicaragua. About a month later, when I found out that two other trip leaders had already been chosen, I was a little disappointed, but not crushed. That's quite alright. I will just go on the trip as a participant instead, I told myself.
However, the sign-up day was Tuesday, which is a clinical day for me from 5:00 am - 7:00 pm. Completely missing the office hours for signing-up, I dropped by the office on the following Wednesday to get my name on the Nicaragua list.
"I'm sorry," the secretary informed me, "but that trip is full. Would you like me to put you on the waiting list?" Slightly stunned that an international trip would fill up so quickly, I agreed to sign the waiting list. She clicked her mouse a couple of times, scrolled down, and then paused and said, "Actually..." My heart skipped a little beat. "The waiting list is full, too. There's twenty-five on the trip and twenty on the waiting list. Can I sign you up for a different trip?"
I didn't really hear the rest of what she said. I politely interrupted her and declined. I couldn't even get out of the building before the tears started coming. Granted, it had been a rough week in nursing school and I was running on very few hours of sleep, but this was the last straw that released the tears of stress and bottomed-out disappointment.
After a few days of processing and prayer, I came to the point where I told the Lord, "It's okay. You have closed this door, so I will look for you to open a new one for me over spring break. This is not what I wanted, but I trust that your direction is best, so I will follow."
Several weeks later, a friend of mine, Rachel, who was going on the Nicaragua trip caught me in passing. "Hey! I think there might be a spot on the Nicaragua trip. You should talk to our team leader." Once again, my heart skipped a beat, only this time in excitement and slight hopefulness. I got in touch with the leader and found out that there was indeed one spot that had opened. There were only two people left on the waiting list. "If they decline, then the spot is yours. I will let you know when I find out myself," she informed me.
Later that evening, my phone beeped with a text from our team leader saying that the two other candidates had chosen to go on different trips. The spot was mine! As soon as my name was added to the list, I heard from Rachel again. "This is weird," she told me, "but my name has been dropped from the Nicaragua list and they didn't know it." In no time, we worked together to get the error fixed.
Then it hit me - what had happened. Because Rachel's name had been mistakenly dropped, a spot opened up on the trip list, enabling me to go. Apologizing for the mix-up, they added Rachel's name back to the list, and allowed me to keep my place, which made me the twenty-sixth name on a twenty-five person trip.
So technically, I am not supposed to be going, but I believe the Lord opened a door for me, and when that involves Nicaragua, He doesn't have to offer twice.
I am still trying to understand things happened the way they did and what I am supposed to learn from it all. Why was I stopped from going at first? Why did I go through the tears and disappointment of thinking I could not go? Maybe it was only so that I could rise to the point of humility before the Lord, so that I could be able to say, "Your will, your way, God. This isn't how I wanted it, but I want to follow your path more than my own." I still am not entirely sure, but this I do know - my name on the Nicaragua trip list is somewhat of a mess-up. I prefer to call it a small miracle. God has a made a way for me to go, which means that He has something great in store this time around.
I cannot wait to see what God does this week in Jinotega! I know by now to set high expectations, yet I know I will still be blown away. That's how great God is - He never ceases to amaze. I look forward to joining Christ in His ongoing work in Nicaragua, a work that He began long ago. I also look forward to sharing this life-changing experience with my teammates and friends, for I know that God has marvelous plans for touching each person's heart and re-aligning their hearts to His.
So this is my prayer: that God's work will be furthered and His name glorified by the love that we show and the work that we do as a team. May we be the visible, touchable hands, feet, and heart of sweet Jesus. May God expand my view of who He is, teach me more of what it means to be a missionary, and use me in any way as he pleases. May the Spirit lead us like a pillar of cloud and fire in the sky. And may we follow with pure delight, energy, and passion for the fame of our Lord, who is the Savior of the world, the sustainer of the nations, and the life-giver of His people.
Most of all, may the people we touch walk away with a greater hunger for the God. Maybe they will be introduced to Him for the first time, or maybe He will become real and tangible for the first time. Maybe a fire will be rekindled in the heart of someone who already knows Him. No matter what kind of people we see and serve, I pray that each one may catch a whiff of the aroma of the Savior within us, and may they come to know Him more, ultimately surrendering their lives to Him and living in eternal glory with the One and Only.
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First, I applied to be a trip leader. I will give you one guess to where I wanted to go. Yep, Jinotega, Nicaragua. About a month later, when I found out that two other trip leaders had already been chosen, I was a little disappointed, but not crushed. That's quite alright. I will just go on the trip as a participant instead, I told myself.
However, the sign-up day was Tuesday, which is a clinical day for me from 5:00 am - 7:00 pm. Completely missing the office hours for signing-up, I dropped by the office on the following Wednesday to get my name on the Nicaragua list.
"I'm sorry," the secretary informed me, "but that trip is full. Would you like me to put you on the waiting list?" Slightly stunned that an international trip would fill up so quickly, I agreed to sign the waiting list. She clicked her mouse a couple of times, scrolled down, and then paused and said, "Actually..." My heart skipped a little beat. "The waiting list is full, too. There's twenty-five on the trip and twenty on the waiting list. Can I sign you up for a different trip?"
I didn't really hear the rest of what she said. I politely interrupted her and declined. I couldn't even get out of the building before the tears started coming. Granted, it had been a rough week in nursing school and I was running on very few hours of sleep, but this was the last straw that released the tears of stress and bottomed-out disappointment.
After a few days of processing and prayer, I came to the point where I told the Lord, "It's okay. You have closed this door, so I will look for you to open a new one for me over spring break. This is not what I wanted, but I trust that your direction is best, so I will follow."
Several weeks later, a friend of mine, Rachel, who was going on the Nicaragua trip caught me in passing. "Hey! I think there might be a spot on the Nicaragua trip. You should talk to our team leader." Once again, my heart skipped a beat, only this time in excitement and slight hopefulness. I got in touch with the leader and found out that there was indeed one spot that had opened. There were only two people left on the waiting list. "If they decline, then the spot is yours. I will let you know when I find out myself," she informed me.
Later that evening, my phone beeped with a text from our team leader saying that the two other candidates had chosen to go on different trips. The spot was mine! As soon as my name was added to the list, I heard from Rachel again. "This is weird," she told me, "but my name has been dropped from the Nicaragua list and they didn't know it." In no time, we worked together to get the error fixed.
Then it hit me - what had happened. Because Rachel's name had been mistakenly dropped, a spot opened up on the trip list, enabling me to go. Apologizing for the mix-up, they added Rachel's name back to the list, and allowed me to keep my place, which made me the twenty-sixth name on a twenty-five person trip.
So technically, I am not supposed to be going, but I believe the Lord opened a door for me, and when that involves Nicaragua, He doesn't have to offer twice.
I am still trying to understand things happened the way they did and what I am supposed to learn from it all. Why was I stopped from going at first? Why did I go through the tears and disappointment of thinking I could not go? Maybe it was only so that I could rise to the point of humility before the Lord, so that I could be able to say, "Your will, your way, God. This isn't how I wanted it, but I want to follow your path more than my own." I still am not entirely sure, but this I do know - my name on the Nicaragua trip list is somewhat of a mess-up. I prefer to call it a small miracle. God has a made a way for me to go, which means that He has something great in store this time around.
I cannot wait to see what God does this week in Jinotega! I know by now to set high expectations, yet I know I will still be blown away. That's how great God is - He never ceases to amaze. I look forward to joining Christ in His ongoing work in Nicaragua, a work that He began long ago. I also look forward to sharing this life-changing experience with my teammates and friends, for I know that God has marvelous plans for touching each person's heart and re-aligning their hearts to His.
So this is my prayer: that God's work will be furthered and His name glorified by the love that we show and the work that we do as a team. May we be the visible, touchable hands, feet, and heart of sweet Jesus. May God expand my view of who He is, teach me more of what it means to be a missionary, and use me in any way as he pleases. May the Spirit lead us like a pillar of cloud and fire in the sky. And may we follow with pure delight, energy, and passion for the fame of our Lord, who is the Savior of the world, the sustainer of the nations, and the life-giver of His people.
Most of all, may the people we touch walk away with a greater hunger for the God. Maybe they will be introduced to Him for the first time, or maybe He will become real and tangible for the first time. Maybe a fire will be rekindled in the heart of someone who already knows Him. No matter what kind of people we see and serve, I pray that each one may catch a whiff of the aroma of the Savior within us, and may they come to know Him more, ultimately surrendering their lives to Him and living in eternal glory with the One and Only.
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