See Something More

This should not come as a shocker to anyone, but just because I graduated from nursing school does not mean I know everything about being a nurse. In fact, quite the opposite is true. I am spending at least 12 weeks in orientation in the hospital for the very purpose of learning how to be a better labor and delivery nurse. Many days, I get into situations where I do not know what to do. Sometimes I feel like I know absolutely nothing, which is really not a pleasant or comfortable feeling. Most days on the way to work, I pray and ask God for strength to absorb what I am learning and the ability to remember and apply it in future situations. On the way home from work, I usually pray again, this time explaining to Him what I learned in hopes that speaking it aloud will help me remember and process the information. I remember one day last week in particular when I felt especially slow and stupid. Looking back, I was probably too hard on myself, but at the time I felt like I should have...

With a pencil in hand, I began to read Paul's letter to the Thessalonians. As I invisibly traced each line with the lead tip of my pencil, I came to a verse that stood out: "Finally brothers, we ask and urge you in the Lord Jesus, that as you recieved from us how you ought to walk and to please God, just as you are doing, that you do so more and more ...For this is the will of God: your sanctification." 1 Thessalonians 4:1-3 I read it again, stopping at the "more and more" part to double underline it. A few verses later, I found it again: "Now concerning brotherly love...that indeed is what you are doing. But we urge you, brothers, to do this more and more ." Following Christ is an ever-moving, always-growing adventure that lasts our whole lives and even into eternity. It is never stagnant, but rather always pushing towards something greater, something deeper, something even more breath-taking and awe-inspiring. There is always "more and...

It is like coming to a fork in the road. It is like navigating uncharted waters or starting a brand new adventure with only a compass. It is like finding your way in the dark with a small flashlight to guide one foot in front of the other. It is like putting together a one-thousand piece puzzle. It is like the first step off the diving board into the deep end for the very first time. It is like letting down nets. We get to these places of decision-making that require important life-choices, and we realize our great need for guidance. We may search deep within ourselves for the answers, weighing our options and rationalizing our way through the process. We may seek guidance through others by asking questions and seeking opinions. But it still leaves us wondering, am I making the right choice? How will I know? Jesus' disciples had been fishing all night long...with nothing to show for it. They let down their nets all over that lake, only to come up empty time aft...

Some days I really miss Africa. Some days I really want to shop in the market, buy fresh vegetables, cook an entirely natural meal, and feed the leftovers to the chickens. Some days I want to hand-wash my own clothes and filter my water. Some days I really miss the babies, and I just want to sit with them and let them run between my legs and play with my hair. But most days, the thing that I miss the most about Africa is waking up with nothing to do but love and serve whoever comes across my path. Here in America, I wake up with a to-do list that is already a mile long. In Africa, there wasn't that much to do, so we would sit in the courtyard, talking and laughing for hours every day. And whenever we gathered together like that, we almost always broke out guitars and worshiped. It just flowed naturally from the depths of our hearts. Here in America, we have tons of things to devote ourselves to, millions of things to be passionate about -sports, shops, video games, diets, music...

When a package for me came in the mail, I knew exactly what it was. I ripped into it with excitement as my parents watched. I didn't even read the letter or look at the brochures just yet, but thumbed through all the extra paperwork until I found his picture. "Look!" I showed my parents with a smile. "This is Aristide." And this was my sponsorship packet from Sheltering Wings. I and my family both have sponsored children through organizations like Compassion International, World Vision, and Food for the Hungry. But this sponsorship was different because I knew Aristide. I saw that big smile of his in the picture, and it took me back to Africa - back to tea time in Burkina Faso, when we would all sit around the courtyard and talk while Aristide made tea for us. I spent almost two months living in the orphanage with him. Most people sponsor a child and then go on a trip to meet them, but my experience was the exact opposite. Meeting him in person and getting t...

New graduate. New nursing license. New scrubs. New job. Everything feels exciting when I come into work, swipe my badge, and put my lunch in the employee refrigerator. That's right, I am an employee for the first time in my life! For the past four years, I have introduced myself as a nursing student. Now, I can introduce myself as a nurse. I am finding that being a nurse is so much different (and better!) than being a student. But sometimes, I find myself falling into thinking like a student instead of thinking like a nurse. For example, one time I was admitting a patient with my nurse preceptor. When my preceptor explained to the patient that we were going to start her IV, she replied, "Well, I am pretty bad with needles, so you better send someone who is really good!" My heart sank as I interpreted her comment to mean, "You aren't going to do this one, Ashli." When my preceptor and I walked out of the room, I was just waiting for her to say, "...

She turned around as I followed her down the hallway, looked into my eyes and asked, "So what did you think about that?" My nurse preceptor and I had just finished coaching a patient through labor until the delivery of her healthy, happy baby. I was speechless in amazement at the whole experience. "It never gets old," she told me with a sparkle in her eyes. "The miracle of new birth." That's why I am so thankful for the preceptor to which I have been assigned. Even though she has been helping deliver babies for years, she has not lost her love for the job and compassion for her patients. It would be easy for the miracle of new birth to become less exciting when you see it day after day for year after year. But then you remember to see things from the perspective of the patients and their families. We as nurses experience it every day, but for each patient, this is an experience that is changing the rest of their lives. It truly is a miracle. I be...